Discovering Your Six Human Needs
Did
you now that there are six needs that we as a people need, not want but
actually need in our lives in order to be whole? Well I wasn’t aware of them
individually per say until I listened to Anthony Robbins explain and describe
each one in full detail. One thing though before naming each need, they all
revolve around on principle. And that’s pain and pleasure. We as a people want
a little of pain, and a lot more of pleasure.
Lets
talk about the first four needs, to begin. These are what Tony Robbins calls
the survival needs. Meaning most people already “get” these needs, because
without them, you could not make it. The other two needs are categorized as
fulfillment needs. Not too many people get this far in their lives. So after
reading this, and become aware of these needs, you can aspire and bring your
life to fulfillment.
The
first need is certainty. We love to know if something is a sure thing. We like
to be comfortable, and we avoid pain like the plague. And naturally so. We
freak out when we don’t have our certainty, such as things not being in our
control. Company is being acquired, will you be able to keep your job; are your
kids doing drugs; or you need to go to the doctor for a mammogram because you
are at that certain age where it can get scary, and you just don’t know how the
doctor visit will turn out. We like our certainty, and we go out of our way to
make sure we can get it. And what happens a lot of times is that we strive so
hard for our certainty, that we become bored. You have a career, nice home,
vacation home, kids in a great schools, everything is going according to plan
and you just don’t want to take the risk. But that’s what life is about, taking
risks. If you knew everything thing that was going to happen to you, life would
be boring, and that’s what happens, which brings us to the second need of
uncertainty.
Just how we need to be certain in life, we also need to be uncertain. We need
that mystery, surprise, the excitement, the unknown. It gets us going and gives
us something to look forward to. We can not be happy unless we grow, and get
into the unknown sometimes. Tony Robbin’s said “The quality of your life is in
direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with.”
If you have to be certain all the time, then you are in prison, and you’ll be
completely unfulfilled. Its in the realm of uncertainty that your passion is
found. Tony says that middleground is the closest thing to a grave. Keep your
hunger alive by being in the uncertainty and in the uncertainty you’ll find
your hunger.
The
third need is for significance. The need to feel special. Your life having
purpose, you need to be needed. Some folks level of significance is higher or
lower than others, but it is still there otherwise we wouldn’t be able to
survive. In order to be significant, you must also be unique. There are lots of
superstars who use their who career and strive after being unique and
different, that they become too unique and sort of isolate themselves therefore
being unhappy and sad. Which brings us to the next need that generally comes
after significance, and that’s love.
The
fourth need is connection and love. We all need and want to be loved. What we
really need to do is learn how to treat and love ourselves as good as we want
to treat others. We all want to love other people, but we don’t show or treat
ourselves that same love. Unless you create a good relationship with yourself
first, how can you love someone else? You can’t. People have so much hurt and
pain within themselves buried so deep, that they wonder why they keep having
failed relationships. If you find yourself resenting someone elses success, you
have just sealed yourself from being able to succeed. Who you spend time with
is who you become. Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer
group. Your peer group is anyone that you care about who or what they think of
you. If you set a high expectation than your peer group, they will have to
either come up to your level, or you need to form a new peer group. Whatever
you do, you don’t want to drop to their level. And if your peer group is your
family, then just love your family, but choose your peers.
Certainty,
Uncertainty, Significance, and Love are the four survival needs. We all are
doing and receiving those on a regular basis whether we know it or not, but
needs five and six are needs that most of us never get to in our lives. They
are titled the fulfillment needs. What we need in order to be at total peace
and to have a inner joy within ourselves that no one, or no thing can take away
or destroy.
The
fifth need is growing. We all must be forever be growing. Any living organism
must continue to grow. Look at a plant for example, if a plant isn’t always
spreading its branches, spreading into new soil, constantly being watered and
showered, it dies. Same with us, we too must grow, or we die. I read a
statistic that stated once a person graduates from high school, the likely hood
of that individual to read a book for pure enjoyment or growth was less than
2%.
Lastly,
we must contribute beyond ourselves. In science, we know that anything that
doesn’t contribute is eliminated. We must give back and help others. Whether
you have a little or a lot, give. Whether that be of your time, by volunteering
or you giving financially, no one achieves true success without someone’s help
and generosity, so why not help someone else as you were helped.
As
I explained earlier, the first four needs are just pure survival, the last two
include a recipe of living your life to fulfillment. Most people just survive
out here in this world, never achieving fulfillment. Do you want to just
survive or live your life to fulfillment?